33 years

Today is my bday.

I’m 33 years old now… I don’t feel 33, sometimes I feel 21, others I feel 35. I get a little philosophical when it’s my bday, you know because it’s an end of something and a new beginning.

In 33 years of life I have been incredibly blessed with so many things and through so many people. I have also been challenged by so many situations, by so many people and some of these challenges I overcome, others I don’t and I keep going through them probably cause I haven’t passed the test.

All of these experiences of life leave me something. I consider myself a very positive person but I do have a depressive side of me that sometimes pulls me and want to take over the normal, positive, happy, dreamer, everything-is-possible-me. Normally this area of my personality comes through when a challenge of life becomes too much for me or its emotionally too hard for me to overcome. I’m going through a challenge I keep having every certain years and each time I do learn something but apparently I need to learn more. The last time was almost 12 years ago. It’s about relationships and every time it happens it hurts me and shakes me.

Today is my birthday, I’m 33 and while I nurse my baby to sleep, I keep thinking on these past experiences because they do something inside of me. I need to learn once and for all the lesson because I don’t want to go through them again in 5 years or 12 or 20 years and also because I need to prepare my kids properly for the world. I just want to stop this cycle and be mindful about my friendships, my reactions, and just have peace in my mind and heart.

A birthday is like a personal new year. I did make some new years resolutions but never put them into paper. So I want to write down my new year/birthday resolutions. They are in no particular order of importance. I want to do them all.

1. I will do anything I have to do to be emotionally healthy.

2. Focus on my personal goals including being the best mom I can be to my 2 kids, be a better wife and woman and treat myself gently.

3. Organize myself better to accomplish these goals and keep track of my plans.

4. Be healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually.

5. Shake off the bad experiences and negative comments about myself, my family or what I do. I can’t control how people think or talk about me but I can control my reaction to them.

6. Do more of what makes me happy, that is baking, crocheting, reading novels, watching movies, working out, blogging and basically anything that keeps me busy and happy.

7. Use my talents to help others.

8. Be creative

9. Be kind and gentle first to myself and then to others.

10. Do more outdoors activities with my kids.

11. Get into a routine for my social online life to achieve my blogger and networking goals.

12. Get back into my biblical Journaling and personal Bible study.

13. Invest more into my positive friendships.

14. Administer my business better to grow it and enjoy its fruits.

15. Get closer with my family.

16. Write on a journal.

17. Enjoy alone time with my husband.

18. Don’t let the hardships of life turn off my light.

19. Put everything in the hands of God and let things takes their place and time to work out everything. That means not rush into anything

20. Worry less about what people will think or do or say or feel, if I’m not doing it with a bad intention or to hurt anyone, specially if it stops me from being happy or doing something I like or just being myself. If they can’t handle me, then they are not good for me.

I think those are mainly the things I will work on and hopefully this new year that I start will be better than last year and that this challenge Im still overcoming can be passed and I won’t ever have to go through it again.

This birthday had some bittersweet moments but I will take the sweetness and print it in my memory and therefore I will only say the positive, I have had 33 wonderful years and for real I’ve had one of the best days today with my family in a long time. They showered me with love and spoiled me and I received some very special treats from very special people too. God even gave me snow for my bday and I spent the best weekend with my 2 cubs and my loving husband.

Happy birthday to me, may this year be even more blessed than the one I just ended.

2 thoughts on “33 years

    • unaregiaenbicicleta says:

      Thank you Emma. I think so too, a birthday is a new beginning and a new opportunity to turn around things so the rest of your life is better. I tell you, I get very philosophical around my bday. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

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